Not Knowing Can Kill
by Stencil
Summary: Syaoran's alone, depressed and commits suicide when Eriol's on his way to confess his love.rr NO FLAMES because I am ever so sensative


"Not knowing can kill"  
  
By: Dark Angel Rika  
  
Disclaimer: "Cardcaptor Sakura" belongs to CLAMP and some other people.  
  
A/N: Sakura didn't change all of the card yet but Syaoran knows that Eriol's Clow.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Syaoran's PoV  
  
Heavy drops of rain hit the thin glass of my window with a loud thud. I lay on my green bed since the moment I came from school, which was about six hours ago. Outside the wind was howling like a lonely wolf at the moon except this time there was no, only rain.  
  
I love rain, it always managed to bring peace to my troubled mind. I was supposed to be training but there's no point to it now that all of the cards have been captured and Sakura's the Clow Mistress. Eriol.yes I know that he's the reincarnation of Clow Reed. He helps Sakura get stronger so I'll get out of the way and play along for now.  
  
I sit up, look at the wall for a minute, then turn to the window, and slightly smile.  
  
I have no-one. Just a lonely wolf. Sakura has her cards, Yue, Kero and Madison. Eriol has Spinel Sun and Ruby Moon and who do I get? No-one. Why can't I have a guardian.  
  
I stood up, walked to my window and opened the balcony door.  
  
Because I'm not important like they are.  
  
I step out and let the rain soak my clothes.  
  
Well if I'm not important why do I bother sticking around? I have no-one to love or care for and no-one loves or cares for me. I know it's strange to hear me say this because Sakura and I were supposed to be made for each other. Forever trapped in a circle of love but only place I'm trapped in is the darkness that is my life.  
  
Eriol's PoV  
  
Here I am, sitting by the window, looking outside, alone. I know I have Spinel and Ruby but the only person who's supposed to be with me, hates me. The rain's been pouring all day. Raindrops just like tears slid down the glass of my window. It's like the sky is crying for me and my hopeless but undying love for Li Syaoran. I've come to a dead-end. I don't know what to do anymore. Should I run to his house and tell him everything, or should I continue watching him from the shadows. *sigh* I never used to be like this before, not in this life not in previous.  
  
I stand up from the widow-sill  
  
That's it. I'm tired of hiding, tired of pretending, tired of suffering like this, tired of everything. It's decided, I'm going to tell him. It doesn't matter if he'll hate me even more, if he'll never want to see me again. All that does matter is that he'll know and maybe, just maybe he'll feel the same.  
  
I grab my coat and run out the door  
  
Syaoran's PoV  
  
I turn around and see my sword in the corner  
  
What difference would it make if I drowned in this darkness? What if I sliced my throat tight now? Would anyone care? I doubt it so why not do it.  
  
I come inside, pickup my sword and remove it's sharp blade form the sheath  
  
Strange but I never used it for the purpose of cutting, only magic. I guess there's first time for everything.  
  
I move the blade closer to my neck but then stop  
  
Eriol's PoV  
  
I run down the, almost completely, dark street. The only thing that makes me able to see through the rain is the dim light of street lamps.  
  
Syaoran's PoV  
  
I never knew my sword was so sharp.  
  
I move my finger down the edge of the blade and it instantly cuts through skin. Pain shoots through my arm, all the way to the brain  
  
Hmm, then it'll have no trouble doing it.  
  
I step out on the balcony once again and place myself in a sitting position. The sword is inches from my neck one more  
  
Nothing left to do but cut. I have nothing to lose or to wait for.  
  
I frown  
  
Eriol. he's close by and he's coming here.  
  
Cold metal moves quickly and smoothly from one ear to another, then it falls out of my hands. I look down and see blood. My vision becomes blurry, I know that I'll lose conscious soon.  
  
Eriol's PoV  
  
I stop in front of a wooden door. Deep breath. I lift my arm and prepare to knock but as soon an my hand touches it , the door bursts open, so I come in.  
  
It sure is dark in here.  
  
I walk around the apartment calling Syaoran but get no response. I enter his room and come near the open balcony door. My gaze drops to the floor and I see the body of the one I was searching for. For a moment I stare in horror not able to move.  
  
Syaoran, why?  
  
The next moment I'm by his side, pressing my hand against the wound trying to stop the bleeding but I know I'm too late to save him, he's almost gone  
  
Syaoran's PoV  
  
I'm so tired, Each breath I take is heavier and heavier, Eriol's here.  
  
I try to open my eyes and concentrate on his face but all I see is crimson red then ...  
  
"I love you" a whisper is heard. Maybe i did have something to wait for.  
  
.black  
  
Eriol's PoV  
  
His breathless body lies in my hands. I sit silently until noticing the sword beside him. Crimson red liquid gets washed away from it's surface by the rain. I reach out and pick it up.  
  
He's dead  
  
and it returns to it's pendant form.  
  
~Owari~ 


End file.
